After the wildly successful Frozen franchise and ground zero to the largest U.S. measles outbreak since elimination was documented in 2000, the Walt Disney Corporation (WDC) announced the release of Frozen 2 Soon: The Anti-Vaxx Years to capture the hearts, imaginations and wallets of an ever growing population of anti-vaccination families.
Frozen 2 Soon: The Anti-Vaxx Years Coming Soon!
To compliment the movie, crews at Florida's Walt Disney World Theme Park have been feverishly working around-the-clock constructing the Frozen 2 Soon display at Magic Kingdom, where unvaccinated children and their vaccine averse parents can immerse themselves in a fully contagious experience with Influelsa, Tetanna, Meningolaf and other Frozen characters afflicted with highly contagious childhood diseases before vaccines became readily available in the Kingdom of Arendelle.
Recent reports confirmed WDC had just started requiring proof of immunization before park entry, but a slew of subsequent lawsuits by anti-vaxx parents forced them to reconsider.
"We thought banning unvaccinated children - like guns and heroin - from entering our park was a common sense policy that would allow millions of children to experience the magic of Disney without fear of contracting a potentially deadly illness because some parents in their own twisted minds believed not vaccinating their children somehow made them safer," said Walt Disney CEO Robert Iger.
"However, after careful consideration, WDC did not feel it was fair to the parents of unvaccinated children to exclude their little ones from the magic of Disney. It's just not politically correct to exclude anyone anymore. We hope the Frozen 2 Soon exhibit will recapture their hearts of the anti-vaxx community and we apologize for any pain and suffering our proof of immunization policy may have caused them," said Robert.
As proof of their sincerity, WDC promised 50% off park entry for unvaccinated children and free admittance for any child in the actively contagious stage of a vaccine preventable disease.
Anti-vaxx parents are thrilled with Disney's decision. A recent internet forum was abuzz with the incredible discounts being offered. "All my kids wanted to go see the Frozen 2 Soon characters as soon as we heard. My Allison says she can't wait to see Influelsa and Tetanna in their dresses while my Jamie hopes to get a picture with Meningolaf and Polioaken together," said a defiant anti-vaxx parent going by the moniker Duke of Measleton.
"I'm hoping at least one of them gets measles or whooping cough before our trip next month to save us some extra money."
Despite the excitement, the internet parent did express sadness for Robin, her third daughter being left at home for the family trip. "I'm so angry at my pediatrician for accidently vaccinating her last year when I stepped out of the room to use the bathroom. She would have loved too meet Hansophilus and scary Mumpsmellow snow monster, her two favorite characters.
Disney promised to provide a fully contagious experience for the diehard anti-vaxx community by working with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to obtain live virus samples of childhood diseases for injection by roaming Disney Characters while listening to Do You Want To Get Pneumonia?, For the First Time Vaccinator, He's a Bit of an Anti-Vaxxer, and Let It Grow in the background.
"I'm just praying we get lucky enough to find the Meningolaf so my kids can experience the thrill of polio first hand.
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